A Match Made in Heaven

 One of God’s children, waiting in heaven to be born and enter mortality, consults with a guardian angel as he observes the world where he will live and wonders what kind of life awaits him.

Angel: you will be greatly blessed to be born to loving parents and live in a prosperous land. We are preparing a special family for you who will help prepare you for the important mission God has for you in life.

John: I’m so excited! Where will I live? Who are my parents? Can I see where they are now. 

Angel: You will be born in Kansas, USA. Your father’s name is Michael. He is there in Alabama. Your mother, Lydia, is there in Kansas. 

John: What about brothers and sisters?

Angel: You will have siblings, too.

John: Alabama and Kansas are far apart. How will my parents ever meet?

Angel: That’s easy. Michael has extended family in Kansas, so he’ll meet Lydia while he is in town visiting family. 

later…

 

John: Oh no, Lydia’s family is moving to Missouri!

Angel: Don’t worry, she’ll go back to Kansas later.

later…

 

John: My parents are growing up! My time will be here soon. 

Angel: Michael is serving a mission in another country. After he returns, they will meet and get married.

John: Wait! Lydia is getting ready to go to college out of state. She’ll miss Michael's visit.

Angel: She’s not going anywhere. The car will break down. She’ll be stuck in Kansas.

later…

 

John: They met! They fell in love! It’s happening! But they’re living in Alabama? You said I’ll be born in Kansas. 

Angel: Be patient. Michael is in college. After graduation they’ll go to Kansas.

later…

 

John: Since their miscarriage, they aren't able to have children. How will I be born? Will there be a miracle?

Angel: Yes, but probably not the kind you’re thinking of.

(Michael graduates)

John: Uh oh, he got accepted to graduate school in Arkansas? He didn’t even apply in Kansas. Will I have to wait longer? 

Angel: No. You all will live in Arkansas eventually, but not yet. Just watch.

John: Wow, he didn’t get any of the jobs he applied for…

Angel: That’s right. He’s getting hired for a job he didn’t even apply for… in Kansas.

John: ...but they’re still struggling with infertility, nd their health insurance doesn’t cover fertility treatment anymore. What’s going to happen?

Angel: You will be born to another woman. This woman is not at a place in her life where she’s ready to start her own family, so instead of aborting or abandoning her infant, she will turn to God for help and choose to place her child with a couple who has prepared their whole lives to raise children unto the Lord.

John: ...with Michael and Lydia!

Angel: Yes.

John: So I’m…

Angel: You’re going to be adopted, and it’s going to be just as good as if you were born to them. In fact, it’s going to be better. You have so many people anxiously waiting for you to come that you will have countless unofficial grandparents, aunts and uncles, and other family who will love and support you in your life.

John: Will I understand? Will I feel like their real son? Will they accept me completely? Will I even look like them?

Angel: Everything will be great. Do you trust God’s plan?

John: Yes.

Angel: Are you ready to go?

John: I’m ready. Send me down. 

Michael and Lydia: Happy birthday, Johnny!

"...though they be red like crimson..."

Look for more to come soon about our life's adventures this summer. For now, here's a little blurb...

This morning as we were getting ready to go to church, Michael was about to pick John up to put him in his car seat when John turned and ran away from him.  Only a few seconds later John tripped and fell down in the driveway.  Michael picked up the crying and now less resistant toddler and placed him in the car seat.  He noticed John had skinned his knee and was bleeding, so Lydia put a bandage on it.  When we were getting out of the car at church, Michael noticed that John had bled on Michael's white dress shirt when he was carrying him to the car after his fall.  Michael was self-conscious and tried to cover up the blood stains with his suit coat and tie so no one would notice. However, as we sat in church, thinking about the atonement of Jesus Christ (and Michael thinking about John's blood on his shirt at the same time) Michael realized that we had a life lesson on our hands.
There are times in our lives when we walk--or even run away from God to follow our own path.  He allows us to make our own choices and even lets us fall flat on our face.  Still, He is always there for us when we fall, even if we bring it on ourselves.  When our heart is broken and our spirit is contrite and we call out to Him for help, He will carry us to where we need to be. 
He has taken our sins upon Him, and he suffered all so "that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities." (Alma 7: 12)  He has the power to heal us both physically and spiritually.  He can heal the wounded knee as well as the wounded heart.  Our sin-stained garments can be made white through the blood of the Lamb of God.
"...though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool." (Isaiah 1:18)
John's knee will heal. For now, the bandage is a small reminder of what happened.  We imagine it reminds him more of the tender care of his mother than of the painful fall.  Michael's shirt has been cleaned and the stain removed (thanks to Hydrogen Peroxide), but hopefully this little life lesson will remain in our hearts and minds forever.  We are thankful for the little things that remind us of our Savior Jesus Christ, His tender mercies, and His redeeming power.

Lessons from my childhood: Facing down your monsters and conquering your dreams

 (by Michael)

"Recurring dreams are quite common and are often triggered by a certain life situation, transitional phase in life or a problem that keeps coming back again and again.... Such dreams may be highlighting a personal weakness, fear, or your inability to cope with something in your life - past or present."  (http://www.dreammoods.com/dreaminformation/dreamtypes/recurringdreams.htm)

 Have you ever had a recurring dream?  When I was a child, there was a certain nightmare that I dreamed about once a year.  In the dream I would arise from my bedroom in my childhood home in Alabama and step into the hallway of the house that led toward the living room and dining room, but in the hallway was a tall, scary monster with big teeth and fierce eyes.  It roared at me and scared me back into my bedroom, or perhaps into the bathroom just across the hall from my bedroom.  In this dream I felt trapped (not to mention scared for my life), and would always, of course, wake up troubled.

 After having this dream a few times, something monumental happened in my personal development.  One time when I had this dream, I faced the terrible monster and slew him with a sword (don't ask me where I got the sword; it was just a dream).  With the monster destroyed, I was relieved and free.  After that night I never had that dream again.  Furthermore, I began to realize that I ultimately have control over my dreams.  Although it requires some degree of consciousness (or subconsciousness, or unconsciousness?), I can--if desired--change the course events in my dreams so that bad dreams can be turned into good dreams.  Now this is not particularly restful, but it is empowering and exciting.  Maybe it's a "mind over matter" thing.

I've mentioned this phenomenon to others from time to time, but I only recently made a simple yet profound connection between this [formerly] recurring dream of mine and the concept of controlling the outcome of one's dreams to life in general.  We all have monsters that stand in our way:  fears, insecurities, weaknesses, threats, nemeses, sins.  They are big, nasty, imposing, and possibly even deadly (in one way or another).  They will never go away until we defeat them.  They can be defeated.  When you finally decide to face whatever monster is keeping you away from where you want to be, you will discover that you have the power to overcome it once and for all.  As I mentioned concerning my dream, once I slew the monster I never again had that encounter in my dreams.  Perhaps you will defeat a monster, and it will return again later.  No need to fear, because if you defeated it once, you can do it again.

Facing down your monsters goes hand-in-hand with conquering your dreams, realizing you are in control and becoming master of your own destiny.  At the risk of blurring the lines between fantasy and reality, I believe that we have the power to change our circumstances in life, not so our dreams come true, but rather so we can choose our path and enact change so that we are happy with the results.  Conquering your dreams means to shape them into realistic goals and then make a conscious effort to achieve them.  It means believing in yourself enough to do what needs to be done in order to enjoy the peace that you seek.

In my recurring nightmare, the only choice I had besides fighting the monster was to seek refuge in my bedroom where the monster would not go.  In other words, I  hid, hoping the problem would go away.  Of course, it didn't until I made it go away.  However, I now recognize another choice I had in the dream that I did not recognize at the time.  Next to my bedroom in the house was my parents' bedroom.  I could have sought help from them if I had known the utility of it.  I merely add this last point to encourage all to be cognizant of the aid available to us from parents, leaders, friends, and other trusted individuals who can help us face down our monsters.
Now, go conquer your dreams.


"Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." (2 Nephi 2:27, The Book of Mormon)

image 1 source: http://moviepilot.com/stories/2012/12/14/the-greatest-moments-from-the-lord-of-the-rings-781511?lt_source=external,manual

image 2 source:  https://www.lds.org/media-library/images/quote-cook-faith-1199774?category=by-speaker/elder-quentin-l-cook&lang=eng

Looking back: It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.  On January 24, 2013, our first child, John Kimball Spencer was born.  It was the best day of our lives.  After years of waiting, we finally realized our dreams of becoming parents.  You can imagine how excited we were.  Ever since we were married in 2004 Lydia has wanted nothing more than to be a mother.  Michael always loved little children and looked forward to that day since his youth.  We were anticipating this opportunity in 2005 when we were first expecting, but we tragically suffered a miscarriage.  Since then we have wrestled with infertility and the heartbreak it brings, particularly to someone who’s looked forward to raising their own family for so long.  We didn’t give up. Where nature has failed, pure love has taken over.  We adopted, a process that was also filled with anticipation and uncertainty.  Now, a year later, we keep counting our blessings—365 and counting—each day that we have John in our lives.  2013 was without a doubt the best year of our lives, and we have high hopes for the future.  The day that John became ours and we brought him home in our own vehicle to our own home was truly the best of times.

That day, a day of relief, joy, wonder, and celebration for us, our friends, and our family—the best day of our lives—was for another person, who spent that day in the very same room as us, the worst day of her life.  After enduring nine months of discomfort and a full day of the most painful experience known to mankind, she went home empty-handed.  Putting aside the important reasons and mutual benefits of adoption, for a woman to sacrifice her body to bring a life into the world and then to hand that precious life over to another in the same 24 hour period with the understanding of an indefinite separation has to be the worst day of her life.  Mind you that for the ensuing days, weeks, and months she would not be exempt from the common postpartum physiological and emotional infirmities.  I cannot imagine how hard it was for her.  This is not what we want to dwell on; we simply want to acknowledge it.  

While for us it was the best of times, for her it was the worst of times.  Her life months earlier experienced an unexpected turn, and she was faced with difficult, life-changing decisions. She could have aborted, and no one would have to know.  She could have decided to become a single mother and raise the child the best she could, but that is not the life she wanted for her child, and it was not the life she was at that time prepared to face.  She knew that the life she helped to create was precious and important.  She believed that every child deserves a mother and a father who can give it the needed attention and support and to be reared in righteousness and raised in a gospel-centered home.  She decided not only to choose life, but to choose the life that God desired for her son (and His son) and for her.  Of course, it was not an easy decision to make.  The consequences of it cost her job, her health temporarily, and sent her life in a direction she didn’t expect to go.  Some may wonder how a person could just give away her son, her own flesh and blood.  They may think that she was thinking mostly of herself, that she cared more about how her life would be changed by the “inconvenience” of an “unwanted” child.  On the contrary, we believe she was thinking of her son first.  She didn’t do it for her.  She didn’t do it for us.  She did it for him, and it was undoubtedly the hardest thing she's ever had to do.

We don’t know if she comprehended at that time how much her decision would bless not only her son’s life, but also the life of a family who was searching and waiting for a void to be filled, a family anxiously desiring to grow and to accept another as our own.  We hope that over time she catches even a glimpse of what her sacrifice means to us.  Even though that special day a year ago was the best day of our lives and probably the worst day of her life, we know that each day only gets better for us and for her.  Our open adoption allows us to keep in touch so that she can see how happy he is and observe that her hopes for him are being fulfilled.  It allows us to express our gratitude to her in simple ways and to allow—if only in a small way—us to be a part of her life and her to be a part of ours.  One of the beautiful things about an open adoption (and maybe unique to ours) is that we feel as though we not only adopted John, but Kim also.  We remain friends, but we feel like family because of the special bond we share.

2013 was full of happiness, joy, learning, anxiousness, adventure, and togetherness, and we anticipate more of the same in 2014. As we get ready to celebrate John’s big 1 birthday, surrounded by family and friends, Kim will be far away, but she will remain near and dear to our hearts.  On this day of celebration for us, we can’t help but think back on that day a year ago when our dreams began to come true.  Happy birthday, John Kimball Spencer!

Adoption:  it's about love.

Films to get you in the Christmas Spirit in 30 minutes or less

Here are a few great Christmas movies that will help you keep the right perspective during the holiday season and put a smile on your face... each in less than half an hour.  So for a quick pick-me-up, put on one of these for yourself or for the whole family.

A Charlie Brown Christmas (25 min.)

"ISN'T THERE ANYONE WHO KNOWS WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT?!"  If you're overwhelmed or dismayed by the commercialism of the season (still reeling from Black Friday?), you can commiserate with Charlie Brown, who gets no respect for trying to find meaning in the Christmas routines (until the end).  If not for the soundtrack alone, this is a fun way to set the proper Christmas mood.  I can't help but watch it several times each year.  There are so many memorable lines and antics from the Peanuts characters.  This short movie actually inspired me as a child to memorize the nativity story from Luke 2 in the New Testament (and recite it just like Linus), as well as the carol "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing."

Also, I can't go a year without watching this entertaining mash-up: http://youtu.be/-sKrwsHweGc

Mr. Krueger's Christmas (26 min.)

If you're a day dreamer, a lonely person, or someone who sees the magic in everything about the Christmas holiday, you can relate to Willy Krueger.
No, this is not a spin-off of a horror flick. The aged Jimmy Stewart stars in this touching snapshot into the life and imagination of a lonely widower who has plenty of Christmas cheer and yet rediscovers the meaning of Christmas and of life through his introspective interview with the Christ child and his new friendship with a sweet little girl.

The Gift (17 min.)

Can't decide what to give someone for Christmas?  Often the best gifts don't come from stores or catalogs, but are made by hand, or are done with our hands.  Seemingly simple acts of service can make more of an impact that we realize, as young Sam finds out in this humbling and heartwarming film that shows another perspective on giving using a very simple setting and story.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (26 min.)

This is another one we've seen many times, but it still brings a smile and a tear to our face each time.  If you're human, it breaks your heart to see a character so heartlessly take advantage of another who is so meek, innocent, and vulnerable.  But how joyous it is to see the change of heart (that finally starts to beat) and immeasurable good that is brought on by the unconquerable Christmas spirit and attitude of giving and sharing!
If you have children, I recommend reading the book to them instead for a quality family bonding experience.  There's always time for a reminder to not be a Grinch.

Do you have a holiday favorite that always gets you in the right mood while reminding you of the true meaning of Christmas?

More midnight raids at summer camp: Showdown at Camp Alaflo.

(by Michael)

When I was a kid, I loved summer camp:  a full week away from home with other kids my age out in the woods.  We had plenty of opportunities to escape adult supervision and do really fun stuff, like swing on vines, stalk deer, and, most of all, pull pranks.  I was a mischievous child, and pranks were a very important part of my week at scout camp, much more important than earning merit badges.  I spent a lot of time planning and preparing for pulling pranks at camp, and I also enlisted the aid and confidence of my fellow scouts in my troop.  While I had a lot of fun concocting and pulling various pranks on people, this story is about when it got out of hand and I learned why we are cautioned by our elders to behave ourselves.

After my first year of summer camp at Thunder Scout Reservation my troop started an annual tradition of bombing another campsite with water balloons on the last night of camp, all in good fun of course.  After three years of attending Camp Thunder, our troop then started attending Camp Alaflo for summer camp.  This did not change our annual tradition, though.  Something else did.  The first mistake was letting the younger scouts talk me into ambushing another campsite on the first night of camp rather than the last night.  The reason why we had always done it on the last night was because we would leave camp the following day before people had a chance to ask around to find the culprits (and before any of us had a chance to blab about it).  So, we got overzealous.  We decided to bomb a campsite where other scouts from our church were staying.  We got ‘em good.  They were sleeping in cabins; it was like shoot fish in a barrel.  I must say, it was fun and exciting.

Of course, the younger scouts in my troop couldn’t keep their mouths shut and by the second day of camp the other troop knew who to blame.  They didn’t say anything about it, though.  I was on edge.  I knew they would try to get us back, so we keep our eyes and ears peeled.  The big camp-wide campfire program was on Wednesday night.  While we were at the campfire, we noticed that the other troop was not there.  I knew they were up to something and had taken that opportunity try to ambush us.  We didn’t want to leave the program early because we didn’t want to arouse the suspicion of our scoutmaster.  As soon as it ended, we hurried off down the trail toward our campsite, knowing something was about to go down.

As we approached our campsite, I could see that they toilet papered the whole place.  I was ahead of the pack, and before I got all the way to there, I saw the boys from the other troop hiding around the corner (not very well for an ambush if you ask me).  I shined my flash light on them and saw them holding water balloons in their hands with big grins on their faces.  “There they are!” I yelled as my comrades caught up.  Then threw their water balloons toward us, but they all seemed to burst as they let them go, so we hardly got wet at all.  It was a pathetic effort, in my opinion.  They turned and ran away toward their campsite, and we chased after them.  We caught up just enough for Cornelius to kick one of them in the butt.  Steven, my brother, wielded a staff as he ran after them.  We quickly gave up the chase and went back to our campsite to clean up their mess, but were shocked by what we found.  They had done a lot more than toilet paper.  They knocked down all of our tents, dragged some of them into the woods, scattered all our stuff around, and sprayed dish soap all over everything.  Our stuff was all scattered, dirty, and in some cases wet.

Now, we were angry.  The more we saw what a mess they’d made, the angrier we got until we huddled up and decided to head down the road and kick their butts for real.  As I gave the rallying cry, I was interrupted by one of the scoutmasters, “NO YOU’RE NOT!”  He told us to stay there and clean up and he would go talk to the other troop’s leaders.  By then we knew that we were all in trouble.  We were just as guilty as the others.  They just took things too far.  Still, everything was going to be out in the open now. 

The scoutmaster returned with the other boys and their leaders.  Our leaders made us all stand face to face and explain how we ended up in this mess.  They made the other boys apologize to us for what they did.  They had really messed up, because they also trashed our scoutmasters’ tent, so they were pretty ticked, too.  Surprisingly, though, my stuff was untouched.  My tent was gone, but my cot and everything on and around it was just as I left it.  Jacob was not so lucky.  He was my tent mate.  His stuff was scattered all over just like everyone else’s.  I figured they knew which tent was mine, but not which cot, and in an effort to trash my stuff, they guessed wrong and trashed Jacob’s stuff instead.  I later felt guilty and apologized to Jacob that it had happened to him.  Anyway, the scout leaders made those boys pick up all our stuff that they’d scattered into the woods and put our tents back up.  They made us keep our distance and just watch.  Some of the boys taunted us with sinister grins, which provoked Cornelius and others to breathe out threats to them.

When the mess what pretty much all cleaned up, our leaders made us all come together and stand in a circle.  They made us each stand next to a boy from the other troop and hold hands.  As we all stood in a big circle holding hands, they had each one of us in turn say a prayer asking God to forgive us and help us forgive each other so that we could all be friends again.  It was one of the most humbling experiences I can remember.  I can’t say we all got along well after that, but we didn’t fight, and we didn’t do any more pranks on each other or anyone else.  We had learned our lesson. 

Sometime after summer camp that year, my friends and I were talking to some girls from church about what had happened because the girls knew the other boys, too.  I mentioned how they must have confused my cot with Jacob’s because I’m sure they were targeting me.  They told me that those guys actually thought I was a cool guy and liked me the most out of the group, which surprised me because I figured they would resent me, being the leader of their rivals.  We all eventually did become friends.  In fact, a couple years later we all went on a snorkeling trip together for summer camp and had a lot of fun.  Most of us eventually served missions and kept in touch afterwards.  Summer camp that year at Camp Alaflo was pretty dramatic, but now it is a [somewhat] fond memory.  We all had to grow up a bit and learn that we cannot control the consequences for our actions, so we must control our actions.

This is the only picture I have from Camp Thunder days.  They kid in the middle is Fidel Castillo.  Disclaimer:  Tom Winters is pictured here, but he was not our scoutmaster at the time any of the events described in this blog occurred, and other pranks not described here he was likely unaware of.

Once bitter rivals, now friends.  Pictured here are many of us who were involved in the great fiasco at Camp Alaflo.  This picture was taken a year or two after that at a state park in Key Largo.  We don't look too friendly here, I confess, but we really did get along better then.  Sorry the lighting is bad.  (Look for more to come about the Florida Keys trip in future posts)

Speaking of pranks.... Poor Jamie... he was always the first one to go to sleep, and such a sound sleeper he was.